Every time..she blinks...she strikes somebody blind...

I have to document 4 of the conversations that took place with Jenna* this Tuesday evening, between pick-up at 5:45 and bath time at 6:45 PM. Funny discussions are a daily occurrence, but some happen in such succession that I am forced to reflect on it.

*the referenced child is 2 ½ years old.

We are all in the car, after the hustle of pick-up, and have just set out on the freeway.

Me: (frustrated sigh)
JK: What Wrong??
Me: Nothing, baby, I’m just hungry.
JK: (in serious, amazing comfort-voice she does. think of the comfort-voice you use when something is REALLY wrong. like a bad fall.) It’s okay, Mommy. We go to gaga-papa’s and they will make you some dinner. It’ll be oootaay.
Me: Gaga isn’t even home – she’s visiting Deder.
JK: oh. I know deder!
Me: Sure. She’s Gaga’s best friend.

Silence.
I’ve been up since 4 AM on these days and have been working since 7 AM. I promise that I engage in conversations with my children – just not always on the car ride home. I am still trying to decompress.
I’m kinda glad the chatter has paused.
Radio up.
8 minutes of nothing.

JK: gaga’s UDDER best friend.
Me: what?
JK: deder be gaga’s udder best friend. Im her bestest best friend.

And the best part of these little talks is that when HER conversation is finished, she gives me a Look. This look of “and there will be nothing more mentioned about That.”

We’ve gone a few more miles down the road. Jenna is trying to open the spout of a water bottle and is yelling “Open This!” (to I assume me?) over and over.

Me: (ignoring)
At least 8 Open This!-es later…
JK: WaHooooo! I opened it myself!!!!
Me: glad you did because I wasn’t going to.
JK: why you wasn’t going to?
Me: because you forgot to say Please.
JK: (looks over at brother) Good ting I opened it myself.

And the look.

We’re on the home stretch of our 30 minutes trek home and she’s annoyed at every song on the radio.

JK: I don’t even yike ANY of dese songs!
Me: Well, what did you sing at Chapel today?
JK: (bursts into dramatic song)
Come and join our fwiends – they all weady to play! Nahnahnah nahnahnah it’s a Super Special day…
Me: Jenna. I seriously doubt that you sang the Ni Hao, Kai Lan theme song in Chapel.
JK: YES I DID! …come on Wintoo, let’s tiger tiger ROAR….
Me: You really shouldn’t tell fibs.
JK: (sigh) otay. We sing Jesus Yoves Me in Chapel today.

Silence.
Radio back up.
5 minutes later…

Me: Kate! It’s Tuesday! You didn’t even have Chapel today!
JK: oooohhh yaaaaa. I guess I just be fibbing again.

Look

We’re home. I’m sitting at the table trying to eat. Jake’s running around wild in his walker.

Me: (Gasp!) (back to eating…)
JK: What Wrong???
Me: Nothing, baby, Jakey just ran over my toe.
JK: (gets up and looks at me with an exhausted…maybe disappointed? look) Mommy. You need to be weawing shoes.
(Same disappointed look at Jacob) Jakey. That’s enough of that.
(she wheels jake out of the kitchen and into another room where I hear her say…)
You didn’t mean to hurt Mommy. You be only Zero.
(strolls back into the kitchen without Jake, goes back to her plate and glances up at me with that look)

Babyjake will be in a yittle timeout to be thinking about it.