.....stream of consciousness.....

I feel I shouldn’t write this all down, but I am.

I don’t think I’ll publish it.

But you know I will.

I woke up this morning conflicted, but then sorted it out in my head. I was afraid I was 2 completely different people. Let me admit here that I am certainly 3 or maybe even 4 completely different people….but I always thought I had religion and politics figured out. I am a Christian and I am a Republican. Last night, I got a little overheated on Facebook, talking about listening to the cries of the needy.

I was literally close to tears, almost begging this person to see my point of view. I was paraphrasing Daniel verses, I was trying to make them hear me that we have to Give. When I get introspective, I know I’m considered a sucker. I give any change I have to panhandlers. I have been known to give my entire bag of drive-thru food to people on the corner. I see people asleep on the beach and I cry. I really do. Isn’t that niave and childish? I know it is. I know some people are lazy and don’t work because they don’t want to. I know some people on the corner make a thousand dollars a day off people like me.

It’s not pity…it’s just sadness. I can’t explain it. I want to hear people’s cries.
SO last night, as I was lying in bed, I was realizing what a bleeding-heart I am for a Republican. SO then I started thinking, “am I really a republican?” I got very confused and had a ten minute identity crises before I fell asleep.

I woke up with a clear head. I know who I am. I believe in helping. I believe in having compassion and a giving heart. I believe that hard-working people should not have to pay for non-working people’s healthcare. Or their taxes.

I feel that I shouldn’t have to share anything at all because my government tells me to.

I feel that I should share anything I can because my God tells me to.

Okay – and so while I already have open my “annoying box” – can I please ask that you pray for the people of Haiti. This cholera outbreak is not getting any media attention. There is no redcross presence over there. People are sending supplies, but the Haitian government is taxing it 60% and the people can’t get to them. There is no good drainage system. There is sewage in the streets and the pigs are eating it. And the people are eating the pigs. Sorry to take everyone out of the comfort zone, but we need to pray for this situation. I know there are horrible situations all over the world, but this is what’s on my heart.

AAANNNNDD, I’m done.

To make you all still like me and think of me as a fun, normal Mom… I’m adding a post I wrote about a month ago. If you follow any other amateur blogs like this, people were all doing these “Always, Sometimes, Never” blogs. Most people (and by that I mean the only 2 I saw) just did their kids, but I made five of them. One for each kiddo, one for me and even one for Kev. I’ll save them to release one at a time in situations like this (you know – when I publish stream of conciousness that was typed at 4:30 AM?)

At 26 months, Jenna Kate……

Always….

Wants a bow in her hair for school

Wants to know where Gaga and Papa are

Wants medicine

Says, “what dat noise?” whenever there is ANY noise that is unexplained

Says, “you help me?” when she’s trying to climb up on something she’s not supposed to….to reach something she’s not supposed to

Wants to watch Yo gabba gabba, Barney, Satan Caillou, or Nemo. Again and again with the Nemo

Sometimes…..

Wants a binkie really badly

Sings to Bebey Jakey

Insists on wearing boots

Rolls her eyes like a teenager. And if I ignore it, yells “Yook at ME!” and then rolls them again

Never….

Wants to eat veggies

Wants to get out of bed in the mornings

Lets me load or unload the dishwasher alone

Likes the Wonderpets

Makes it easy for me to say No.